Midweek Stock Report: 1/23/13

As an east tenn state alum, I'm offended by your statement sir.

You seem to have broad musical tastes. Here's a band for you. Horse Feathers. If you've ever heard of Iron and Wine, they are similar. If not, well give them a listen anyway.

So glad this feature is back , thanks for the laughs Wes.

I hope I'm not the only one that noticed the HILARIOUS caption under the pictures.. I don't know if Wes has had one too many doses of meds today or has hopped on the funny train but they had me rollin

Sounds like the Rucker Ranch needs a good dose of Wishbone cooking if ya can't get over this sickness thing. He always had bacon frying in the pan. (Rawhide's Wishbone since you're so of age)

I said this on Twitter, and I'll say it again. Pick up some all-natural/organic bacon (no nitrates, preservatives, etc added) at the Trader Joe's or the market out at Turkey Creek and you BOTH win!!!

Great idea.

I've also got two alternatives for you. First you could get a bacon guy (i'm sure it's easy enough, I've got a guy for a lot of things and I'm no Wesley Crusher, i mean Wesley Rucker). Have him get you or make for you the most delicious, artery clogging bacon he can find. Take said bacon and package it in a non-descript plastic, see through "case". If you want to really throw her off, put some healty words on there like "No Trans Fat" "Low Sodium" or "Healthy for 8 to 88". Next, put the bacon in your fridge. Finally, cook bacon and enjoy.

Option 2 involves power tools and deceit, but it may be your best option as it's significantly easier than finding a bacon guy if you dont already have one... In either the floor or a non-load bearing wall, you cut out a section of the floor/wall (preferrably next to a wall socket for power purposes) large enough to house a mini-fridge. If you dont have a mini-fridge, ask some of the guys on campus, I'm sure there's one for sale. Put the fridge in either the wall or the floor (if you go the floor route, you'd have to also install a trap door because I'm not sure the door of a mini fridge would support the weight of anybody over the age of 3) and connect it to the socket. If you have the knowledge, i would suggest wiring it behind the wall so as not to give away the position of the fridge. After the mini-fridge is installed, go about your day as you normally would. Wait until 3 am. Go to Gibbs Hall and ask for directions to "the pig pen". Follow the directions to a seedy street corner where a guy named Backstrap will be waiting with a mini-fridge's worth of Bacon. Tell him buckshot sent you. Once you have the bacon home, and I cannot stress this enough, it is imperative that you cover the hole in the wall or she'll find the mini fridge. May i suggest a poster of a hip band of the time, like menudo or hall & oates. If you go this route, though, you won't be able to cook bacon w/o raising some questions, so be careful.

You're Welcome.

The Redhead loves Hall and Oates.

I'm so serious.

as do i!

Wes...and all on board... On the "Chip" front. If you haven't tried "TERRA; Sweets & Apples (Hint of Cinnamon)" Sweet Potato and Apple chips all who read this go NOW to the store and grab some...they are in the Pringles isle at Wallyworld. I don't open the bag unless I am ready to eat half or even the whole bag. They are good for you too...lol.(Maybe if you don't eat the whole bag) Check em out y'all