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I always liked the throwbacks...
What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen
A 4th grade teacher was asking her class to tell what their dads did for a living. She was getting the usual answers....Dr, atty, policeman, fireman, salesman, farmer and mechanic. All the while noticing Justin being very quiet. She said "Justin stand and tell what your dad does". He stood and replied loudly "my dad dances at an all male cabaret.he takes his close off in front of other men, and they give him money! Sometimes, at the end of the night, if the offer is good, he goes home with them and spends the night" the teacher quickly interrupts....kids practice your division on page 4. She takes Justin into the hall and asks...Is that true about your dad? He said " Heck no, he works for the democratic national committee and helped get obama elected, but I was too embarrased to tell them that!
What do you call a dog with no legs or ears? It doesn't matter what you call him....he ain't coming
Thanks for the hospitality!
I thought this one was good in the other thread ...
Who would have thought it would just take a BJ to bring Tee back to Knoxville!
A man buys a special lie detector robot and brings it home. It is designed to slap anyone who lies in its presence. He decides to try it out at the dinner table.
"How was school today?" he asks his son. "School was fine," he said, but the robot slapped him.
"OK, I skipped school and watched a movie at Johnny's," said the boy.
"What was the movie?" asked the dad. "Toy Story," he said. The robot slapped him again!
"OK, it was a porn movie," he said.
The father was aghast. "Why at your age, I didn't know pornography existed," said the father. The robot then slapped him.
The mother was very entertained by all this. "Well, he's certainly your son!" she said. The robot then slapped her.
If your not afraid of some language look up Jon lajoie on YouTube. Anything by him is pretty funny.
There are only four answers to any question: Yes, No, I don't know, or the Correct Answer.
Derek Dooleys SEC record..
Oh...these are good
2 guys are at the bar and talking. One guy says to the other no matter what I do my wife always wakes up when I get home. So the other guy asked him what he did when he got there. He said I turn off the car and coast into the driveway, take off my shoes and walk upstairs, I sit down and pee, and then slowly take off clothes and slip into bed quite as a mouse and she always wakes up.
So the other guy says you're doing it all wrong. He says here is what I do. I come screaching in the driveway run upstairs, pee really hard standing up, and jump into bed and slap the wife on the ass and say who's horny and she never wakes up.
We didn't think it was too d@$# funny 3 weeks ago! But +1 anyway
BUTCH IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. GO VOLS!
My upvote and downvote arrows are gray does that mean I'm out of them
Yep - you burned your quota...
Q: Why do birds fly upside-down over Alabama?
A: Because there ain't nothing worth crapping on...
(If you're a blonde, please don't kill me for these)
Q: A blonde and a brunette fall off the Sunsphere. Who lands first?
A: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
Q: What do you call five blondes stuck in a walk-in freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes
My wife is blonde and she was cracking up over these.
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