The CheckerBoard

Thanks for asking, Fear...

I'll give you the real reason for PepeVol. My last name is Leffew, which sounds really close to LePew (the skunk, again), so most of my family has been called that a few times in their lives. I am reasonably sure that it's not a reference to my personal hygiene, but I can't guarantee it. I have friends that I was on the police department with who only ever knew me as Pepe. Oh, and I'm a Vol fan...that's the reason for the second part. I just put them together and *bazinga*, a new name emerged...

I think the Vols have the best chance they've had in a few years, but I have a bad feeling it's gonna be the gators. Hope I'm wrong.

I'm thinking Randolph on defense and Peterman on offense.

Favorite restaurant would probably be Krystal's (if I've been out inbibing, anyway)

Favorite movie is easy. The Big Lebowski. I've seen it literally dozens of times...and I laugh every time.

Favorite TV show is Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo!! No, not really, although I have actually watched it and was able to suppress the urge to stick a fork in my eyeballs. Sadly, what has been seen cannot be unseen. I actually love Aereola America on the Smithsonian Channel.

Just as long as he wins, he can wear Orange thongs on the sidelines for all I care. (No, he can't really, I was just kidding...)

He would be Pope Sosa the First, but he would only last one day. God would smite him for pestering the hell out of him to give the cubbies a World Series victory.
"Please, God, and I promise I'll even stop doing that little thing I like to do with the raccoons..."
"I told you already, I can work miracles, but Me damn, man, that is beyond my omnipotence!"

Although I did go through a man-whore phase after my divorce, I am actually in an exclusive relationship, and have been for almost three years....and she is real, and spectacular. I'm boringly monogamous now, sorry. You'll have to do your vicarous living through Crockett and anybody else that wants to bare their souls to the group..

Thanks for showing how much you care by asking questions, Irrational.

I'm glad you enjoyed the title post change game, I think I changed it three times. I would have changed it a couple more times, but I had a few drinks above my quota and forgot what I changed it to the last time...oh, well, you liver and you learn.

Thanks for the easy second question! Of course the answer will be Saban retiring. Everyone knows that Franklin would never make it as a head coach for an SEC team, silly man...

Lol, that's funny, ONC. I'll try some later on.

And don't apologize for chiming in, I'm not a thread hoarder who screams "GET OUT OF MY THREAD!" at people for no reason other than trying to bully people into cowing down to them.

I believe in being an all-inclusive thread. All comments and viewpoints are welcome, here, my friend.

How many budweisers does it take to make you walk sideways?

Dammit, ONC, you must have had frickin laser beams for breakfast, cause you have some really bright questions. I'm gonna take a break for a little bit, so that I can unfurl some neurons.

(+1 to anyone who heard "frickin laser beams" in Dr. Evil's voice)

This is a lot of fun, thanks guys!

Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme?

Favorite breed of dog?

Willie Nelson or Johnny Cash?

Best excuse to get out of a speeding ticket?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Welcome, ONC, I've been expecting you...

1. Wow, great question. Tough call, though. I would probably need more specifics to answer this one correctly, such as what type of food would I be vomiting? Would it be projectile or through the nose? Is the diarrhea a solid, smooth steady stream, or does it have chunks, which causes flow imbalance and perhaps colonic collapse due to pressure cavitation? Man, this is some funny sh**, maybe I need to charge admission on this thread. Get back to me later on that one...

2. Tacos. I grew up on burgers, dogs, spam and bologna. I didn't find out that Mexicans had created those amazing crunchy corn shells filled with spicy, tasty fillings until I was 44. I have eaten an average of 3 tacos/day for the last 7 years to make up for what I missed....

3. Not unless you are talking about USCw. In that case, I hope they play horribly, but win. Otherwise, no. I would let squirrels remove my Pepe LePew tattoo before I would pull for the tide...

4. Sorry, the pics have already been made. For the incredible value of only $5.00, I will not send them to you via PM. Let me know soon, the thong is chaffing me a little.

5. Farting. Not sure why, but the aromas fermented by my bowels is almost pleasant to the nostrils. People around me pretend to gag and swoon, but I know the truth....they only fall to the ground spasmodically so they can secretly keep inhaling the vapors.

6. Yes!!! I really believe this will be a year we will talk about for a loooong time!!!!

7. Chattanooga State and UTC

8. How incredibly presumptuous and horribly accurate you are. Whatever comes after the 3rd year, that's when it all fell apart. Thanks for bringing up those memories, jerk....

9. Kevin: Give Me Money!
Ryan: Confrontationally Passive-Aggressive
Wes: Overachieving, Funny, "Compensating"

10. I arrested Jesus Christ in 3 different bodies. At least, they said they were....

Counter-Disclaimer: I'm not DenverVol. That's really weird. Why would you say something like that?

Right on pepe! You answered those with the hilarity that I knew you would. As to Number 4-I'll pay. Send me a bogus address and I'll mail you a bogus check. +1 and more if possible

There for a moment, I thought Pepe had gotten stage fright.