The CheckerBoard

How many trash cans have you tripped over trying to get to the raccoon?

You suck.

What 10 players would you have on your all-time Volympics team and why?

None. But they've tipped over more than 20-30 cans at this point on their own.

You should be focusing on your academics today, IMO.

Was this originally meant as a question?

1. What took you so long to bring this thread back? Are the rumors of a beardless-induced rage true?

2. Can the UT men's basketball team make a deep run in the SEC Tournament?

3. Now that spring training is in full force for baseball, how long until you write off the entire season as a loss?

4. Have you started collecting pelts for your coonskin cap yet?

5. It is currently 19 degrees here, with a projected high of 28. Could you handle that type of weather?

6. What was your honest reaction to watching UT dismantle UK Saturday?

7. What is the best scenic drive within an hours' drive from Knoxville?

8. Can the redhead cook?

9. Why do birds fly upside-down over Alabama?

10. Would you consider the "Wednesdays with..." Threads on this board Reddit AMAs without the trolling and posting of nude photos?

Have you been saving up so you can purchase Ryan a nice wedding gift?

Set as a percentage, what is the probability that the A/C gets fixed before warm weather arrives?

What address do I sent my "The Redhead gets a LaRussa tat" donation to?

Is Counzo showing any emotion at all after the recent turnaround?

Do you fake bowel movements when you and The Redhead are out on a date so you can catch up on 247/ The Crockett Chronicles?

1. I was busy. No.

2. Sure. Golden is the key.

3. I never concede defeat. Therefore I never lose.

4. No.

5. No. I would die.

6. Surprised. I thought UT would win by 10 or so, but not 30-plus.

7. There are so many. Blue Ridge Parkway is pretty sweet, as is I-40 to Asheville and I-24 between Chattanooga and Nashville, at least until you get over Monteagle.

8. Yes. I am lucky.

9. I forgot.

10. I don't know much about Reddit, to be honest. I feel like I should, but I don't.

1. No. Ryno sucks. He'll be lucky to get a toaster. I might get him a cheap vacuum cleaner, 'cause he sucks.

2. 50%.

3. Don't.

4. Not really. He's always the same.

5. I don't have to. She checks it as much or more than I do.

1. True, but I was at least old enough and have heard enough stories, and I've gotten to know a few players from those teams. So I could be considered somewhat informed.

2. At least two of them.

Yeah, 'cause those are the kinds of word I use.